On Tour: Day 2 Continued

Ok, so I don’t remember much of what happened last night because when you’re on tour whiskey seems to just magically appear so I’ll relate the following two stories, as told by Jeff and Chris respectively. From the messageboard:

Jeff

I shit you not, we’re in another room and the phone rings. The call is from Corman’s room and the voice is a female he brought back to the hotel.

Her: “Where are all you guys?!? I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and stuff me into a mattress.”

Me: “Uh huh. And where is Ben?”

Her: “He’s in the bathroom. Look, I have to– oh no he’s coming out… ‘click’”

Verbatim.

And Chris

Just for clarification, that crazy girl pounding on all the doors was the same girl Corman was going to gut in his hotel room. She said that she banged on hotel room doors for over an hour looking for “the party” and Corman only laughed manically while telling her the wrong room numbers until she had to piss in the hotel stairwell because she couldn’t find a bathroom.

Speaking of piss, shortly after Elvira ate it on the curb, the other two sort-of normal girls that came back pulled up in their car. Corman walked up and started pissing on their passenger door, in the street, in front of a crowded bar for a solid two minutes.

After that Elvira was still rolling around on the sidewalk with her dress hiked up over her ass, and unable to stand up in her heels. Corman was yelling at another annoying girl to leave him alone, and Elvira stood up, bare-footed and beat him with her heels screaming “DON’T BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE LIKE TUCKER MAX.”

I have a lot to learn.

I’m laughing so hard at these I think I’m going to throw up. I’m sorry mom, you probably shouldn’t read this entry.