On Tour: Ten Stops Down

We’re about a third of the way through the premiere tour and already I feel like I’m so far down the rabbit hole that I can’t see sky any more. The other night, as we stood on the street packing the last of the gear a girl walked up and offered to blow one of us if we’d let her on the bus to meet Tucker.

A kid in audience for one of the Q&As asked Tucker if he passes girls off to those of us working the premiere tour. As if it’s a part of the compensation package. Here’s your base pay, your per diem and you get to follow Tucker twice a week. You know, if that’s your thing.

And then there’s the skeleton porn, the fucking on the goal line at the swamp and the protesters.

But at every stop there’s a few more press who want interviews. There are more people coming out to see if there are still tickets or comps available. More people stay for the Q&A. We sell a little more merch. In every city we’re gaining a bit of momentum. So while we may be diving head first into wonderland, people are following.

And thank god because otherwise I’m not sure I could do this. I know no one wants to read about how hard we’re working. About going to sleep at two and waking up at six, about how most days I get an hour free time which I use to eat lunch and take a shower. About how I’m one of the lucky ones because I know our video guys are either shooting, editing or sleeping. Lunch and showers not being an option for them. People want the dirt. They want the story. They want to live vicariously through us.

Perhaps that’s not entirely fair. There’s a minority of fans who color my experience night after night. The vast majority of people just want the movie to be good. They want to come out and laugh, enjoy themselves and go home happy. They want to feel like they got something they valued for their money. But it’s the weirdoes and the creepers who hang around who end up as my last impression. For those kids, whatever we give, it’s never enough.

These are the kids who want to party with us. They want to be part of this thing that they perceive as the “Tucker Max Experience”. They’re the ones who ask endlessly whether the stories are true and about what comes next, like everything that’s happened to this point has been part of a premeditated marketing plan. They’re the ones who don’t understand that if you just go out and have a good time, good things will follow. They’re gripped onto this idea that they have to PARTY WITH TUCKER that they can’t just relax and enjoy themselves. It’s self defeating and it’s sad to see someone who’s definition of self is so wrapped up in another person.

And then there’s a third type. The ones who ask about the art. The ones who understand that the hookups and the parties and the fame are a consequence of making something truly great.

A few times on the tour I’ve seen someone with that hunger. The type that wants to change the world with something they’ve created. They want to follow Tucker not because they are looking for the party but because they understand that something is being built here. And if it works, it’ll be unlike anything built before it. They understand that it’s not about the spoils, it’s about the act of creation.

I like that hunger. I relate to that hunger. It’s that hunger that brought me on this tour, that I think brought all of the crew on this tour. There isn’t one of us that wants to do this as a career. We’re not professional gophers. I think that all of us see this as a step to something bigger, as a door that opens opportunities that we don’t even know are out there.

Charlie Hoehn said something really smart on his site. That he was getting paid to receive a film school-level education in less than six weeks. And I think that’s why it’s going so well. It’s not about doing a job. It’s about doing a job better and faster than the other guy who could be here. It’s about knowing that this is a chance to prove ourselves so that later we may reap the rewards. Because as cool as it may be to be here, and for all the love that gets heaped on us for being on tour, none of us wants this to be the high water mark in our careers. None of us sees this as the goal. It’s just another step on the way to where ever we happen to be headed. I don’t think any of us want to exist in Tucker’s orbit forever. We’re arrogant enough to want to be the center of gravity in our own universes.