Suicide & Keg Stands TOC
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 1
When Lynn walked into the bar her eyes were rimmed red and she sort of slumped onto the stool next to me. The bartender was leaning back in his chair reading the paper and he looked up so I held up a finger for one more.
"Jason killed hims…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 2
I met Sarah a week before classes started my freshman year. Freshmen registration was still done through the academic counseling staff because while we were smart enough to live on our own for the first time, god forbid we register for clas…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 3
"Let's get out of here." I said as the bar filled with people we knew. They wanted to know what was going on for the night, if we knew about any parties or if we were staying at the bar. Lynn was white knuckling her glass and not saying any…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 4
"Let's go." Sarah said.
"We just got here."
"Are you having fun?"
"Not really. Are you?"
"It's hot and it's loud and someone just grabbed my ass."
"You want to go back to the dorm?"
"What about Ryan?"
"He's at the library."
"It's a…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 5
The bar wasn't crowded when Ryan and I got there. I slunk in wearing sunglasses hoping people would just assume that I was high or drunk or trying to be cool. I didn't want to spend the whole night lying about my eye. I figured I could alwa…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 6
Sunday morning I woke up to my phone ringing.
"Can you come over?" Lynn asked. "I don't want to be alone here." Her voice was small on the phone.
She was lying on the couch when I came in. She patted the space in front of her and I sat do…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 7
We spent a lot of time just talking. One night we went to the drive-in for the midnight show. Soon though we were leaning against our doors looking across the car at each other and ignoring the movie. Kids around us shouted or made out or t…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 8
We got back Friday afternoon and Lynn dropped me off at my place. She said she felt fine, she'd call me later if she was still awake. Ryan wasn't there when I walked in. I flipped through the channels for a while and didn't know what to do …
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 9
Saturday I dropped by Lynn's with a bottle of wine, which she attacked with enthusiasm. We sat on her couch, not really talking but not really watching TV either. She was nervous and I didn't know why. It was making me nervous and we both w…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 10
"You want to go to the library?" Ryan asked me. I was sitting in our room watching TV. It was a Sunday night and Sarah and I had just gotten back from a road trip. It seemed like we were away every weekend. Dead Week was about to start and …
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 11
Suddenly it's Thursday morning and I'm standing in front of the coffeemaker. I can't remember how many scoops of coffee I've put into the machine or how many classes I've gone to or how many I've missed. Ryan came out of his room and looked…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 12
Jimmy's that night was a 'summer school' party for all those who would walk but still had classes to finish up. We were standing on the deck overlooking his back yard.
"I was going to print out all these fake diplomas for people. You know …
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 13
I flew back the day before New Years Eve. Sarah picked me up from the airport and we headed west immediately. This trip was the same as the others for the first few days. We stayed in hostels along the coast and worked our way north.
It wa…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 14
"We're going to have a huge party here graduation weekend." Ryan said when I opened the door.
"I don't want a huge party." I said but he had already turned back to his phone call.
"Last night was a lot of fun, but we can do better." He sa…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 15
It was just before finals and Ryan and I were hanging out in our room. He rarely drank, I'd seen him have a beer or two at parties, but that night he'd scored a bottle of vodka. He'd gotten into the honors program and we were having a few d…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 16
Ryan was pacing back and forth when I opened the door. Bits of paper, mostly bar napkins and post-it notes were clenched between his fingers. He was reading off of them.
"Hey" He said when he saw me walk in. "How's this sound? We get block…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 17
By the time spring break rolled around we were regulars at the Seaside and around town.
We'd met the owners of the Solar Café and they had a hard time believing that we'd drive out there every weekend. The Solar was owned by a hippy turne…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 18
When I walked up to the apartment, Tim and Georgia were sitting out front in Georgia's car. I could see the back seat was loaded with suitcases.
"Eloping?" I asked, walking up to the driver's side window.
"Hey." Tim said, his eyes wide, a…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 19
CJs was a sports bar across town that no one went to. I'd just finished faking my way through my first final and didn't want to see anyone. After Marie's late night phone call it seemed easier to just avoid everyone. It was early afternoon …
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 20
It was four weeks before the end of the quarter when Sarah walked out or was thrown out of her father's apartment. I never got the full story. She called me late on a Tuesday and asked if she could stay over. She wasn't crying, she didn't c…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 21
The apartment had been transformed. I'd never seen Ryan throw himself into something like he'd thrown himself into this. I thought it would be just one of those things. Tell a few friends, they'll tell their friends. A couple of kegs on the…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 22
Morning was a novelty, something out of a coffee commercial. It was the first morning I could remember not waking up with a hangover or with a feeling of guilt or dread hanging over my head. Like the sky was just waiting for me to look up b…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 23
I went back to the cantina the next day. The beach was starting to get crowded and I didn't really know where else to go. I'd gone into the Solar Café but Roger and Nancy weren't there. There were a couple of people sitting at the counter …
Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 24
At breakfast the next morning I realized it was the day of the party. I thought I would have cared more but it felt far away, like it couldn't touch me. Jean had been giving me sideways looks all morning and I wondered if she had finally re…
Suicide and Keg Stands - Epilogue
I had missed a final but when I went to see my academic councilor, he took the class completely off my transcript citing "the emotional stress of losing a professor." I didn't even have to say anything. I just turned up for my appointment a…

